ITV to broadcast new drama ‘Downturn Abbey’
ITV is to broadcast a new contemporary costume drama, ‘Downturn Abbey’. The drama is set in the eponymous stately home and follows the lives of the aristocratic Osborne family, wallpaper manufacturers,...
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Clark Kent admits taking out ‘Super-injunction’
Clark Kent has admitted that he went to the High Court and obtained a so-called ‘Super-injunction’ in order to keep his identity secret. The revelation is particularly embarrassing as Mr Kent works as...
View ArticlePanasonic unveils new Eurozone crisis-ready TV
Electronics giant Panasonic has entered the Christmas sales war by launching its most advanced television set yet. The product features new Eurozone crisis-ready technology, including a fixed banner...
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TV first as ‘last time’ and ‘next time’ fill entire episode
Television history was made last night when the middle episode of a three-part drama contained no new footage at all, but consisted entirely of a summary of the story from the first episode and some...
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Mandela ‘determined to complete bucket list’
While the world has feared that South Africa’s revered former president, Nelson Mandela, may not have long to live, his aides remain unconcerned and insist there is no way he will be taken from us...
View ArticleShock as ‘slaves’ discovered below stairs in Yorkshire mansion
Outrage was expressed today when police announced that a number of people had been kept against their will at the so-called “Downton Abbey” and forced to work in appalling servitude. Whilst the family...
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Men joyous as Kim Jong-un threatens to cyber attack all future Downton Abbey...
Men across the country were delighted at the warning today that the production of all future Downton Abbey episodes and specials are in ‘serious jeopardy’, following cyber attack threats made to ITV by...
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Multiple Archers characters to die to stop BBC listeners downloading podcasts
The BBC has announced that an unpredictable outbreak of murder, suicide, accidental death, lethal machinery malfunction, alien abduction and Ebola will hit Ambridge, leading to a veritable genocide of...
View ArticleNational Trust denies dumbing down with organised dog fighting
The National Trust has thrown open its doors to welcome working class visitors, having carefully removed all the antique silver and porcelain plates. New signs have been erected encouraging people to...
View ArticleBBC bosses report catastrophic shortage of middle class actors
The BBC has been forced to shelve plans for its latest planned blockbuster drama The Establishment after running into major problems attracting suitable actors. The drama focussed on the friction...
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